Emotional intelligence tells us that the way we react when someone says or does something to us, is a good indicator of our emotional intelligence level.
One thing that people often react to is criticism. For some, criticism rolls of the person’s back like water off a Teflon pan (High Emotional Intelligence). For others, they seethe with anger for days on end (Low Emotional Intelligence). How well do you react to criticism? Are you okay with it? Or do you become irate and complain to friends and loved ones about it? If you are more of the latter, let me tell you about Simon.
Simon is an accounts manager for a large medical supply company. He used to feel quite depressed and anxious because of an incident that kept happening at work.
His boss was often highly critical of him. The problem was that Simon didn’t know how to react to his boss’s criticism without becoming angry and frustrated. His jaw would tighten, his stomach tied up in knots, and he would start justifying himself whenever his boss criticized him. Then he would become defensive and depressed for the rest of the day, usually needing a few drinks at his local pub to calm himself down.
Simon discovered a technique that drastically reduces the emotional attachment to any criticism coming from anybody. I would like to share that technique with you now.
Follow these 4 easy steps:
1. Think about a time in the past when someone criticized you and you weren’t too happy with how you felt or how you reacted.
2. Write down the critical remark on a piece of paper. For example, maybe your boss said to you, “Your standard of work has gone down recently.” You would write out: “My standard of work has gone down recently.” Writing out the criticism allows you to put some distance on it and consider it objectively.
3. Ponder it. Does the criticism have any merit? Is it true? Does it have any value? Who did it come from? Do you respect their opinions?
4. Think about their point of view. Why did they say this? What was the positive intention behind giving you that critical remark? How can you appreciate their point of view?
Write out a few more criticisms you have received recently and run them through the above steps. You’ll find that very soon indeed you will be able to better manage your emotional reactions to criticism, and you’ll be able to respond resourcefully with higher emotional intelligence.
Original Article: http://www.awinningpersonality.com/2013/12/how-to-turn-criticism-into-valuable-feedback/